Heretic

“I think it is good to be religious, to find your faith in a doctrine you actually believe.” - Mr. Reed

What a year for horror. Maybe I am a horror fan now? Longlegs, The Substance, Late Night with the Devil, and Strange Darling make up some of my favorite watches of the year over 10 months in. Now, does this match up? Not entirely. A dinner debacle caused the missing of the first 5 or so minutes, but I was immediately drawn in. What a casting and performance from Hugh Grant. His ability to lead a very dialog driven horror film was in my opinion a master class. Sadly though, beyond that the movie starts to have a few problems. Most importantly, after a great first act, I feel like it loses its footing. A story that begins to drag and get away from itself is the outcome. I was hoping that it would all come full circle, but I think what was thought to be a powerful ending turned into a flop. Overall, the concept has still been circling my head and a want for more Hugh Grant villain roles is very alive. Paddington 2 to this, talk about an elite resume of antagonists! If you are an A24 fan or a horror fan this is a must watch!

-J

Two major complaints: the trailer and the final act. The trailer for this effectively spoiled what could have been a more impactful thriller, though it was still very intense despite this. If you can avoid the trailer, do so. The final act, as Jord mentioned, is certainly weaker than the rest of the movie. That said, Hugh Grant is SO GOOD none of that even matters. The logic for his character is completely sound, despite some poor choices in how it culminated, and it made for a very clever throughline in Heretic, as his motive drives the whole story. One minor complaint: the two protagonists Sophie Thatcher and Chloe East didn’t seem consistently written. Again, easily forgiven under the weight of how enraptured you’ll be with Hugh Grant. It’s not overly scary, but if you like thrillers, I’m sure you’ll love this.

-Z

Z 8.25
E 8.0
J 7.75

ZEJ 8.0

Saturday Night

“Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!” -Chevy Chase

Saturday Night started off on the wrong foot. A broken projector forced us to dash across town, abandoning our plans to see Emilia Perez in favor of a last minute viewing of Saturday Night. While I can’t comment on Emilia Perez (yet), I can say that this was a fun watch. Due to this, going in I wasn’t able to watch the original Saturday Night Live sketch, which in my opinion could really elevate this film. Despite that though, it definitely isn’t required by any means. I think the casting was great, and a lot of the actors looked exactly like their portrayal. Along with that, I think the anxiety inducing way it was filmed made it interesting, but overall I was left with a ‘meh’ taste in my mouth. It felt like it needed a bit more polish to truly shine. Maybe I am being picky or maybe my lack of love for SNL helps me with the score I gave it, but if you want a fun fast-paced film or a lover of SNL, this is definitely something that needs to be added to the watchlist.

-J

The ZEJ team saw Saturday Night unexpectedly, after a projector malfunction at Fleur Cinema caused us to call an audible, and while it was entertaining, it was ultimately a frustrating watch in the sense that seemed to be on the cusp of something really great. The movie is essentially a retelling of the first ever airing of SNL, and they get so close to it being a one-shot film ala Birdman, that they really just should have, as it would been so rewarding. There are two absolutely electric performances - Cory Michael Smith as Chevy Chase and Matt Wood as John Belushi, which does make this worth a watch if you’re a fan of SNL or A-tier acting.

-Z

Z 7.5
E 7.5
J 7.0

ZEJ 7.33

Alien vs. Predator

For our final Spooktober movie this year, E and I took the natural next step from Predator to Alien vs. Predator, which is a DVD that got played many times in my childhood home, but it has been nearly two decades since I’d last seen it, so I was a bit worried about how it would hold up, particularly given the 29% Metacritic score. For E, it was a first watch, and she was immediately sucked in by the kind of early 2000s National Treasure-style charm this movie immediately hits you with. Assembling a team of the best in their respective fields, uncovering an ancient ruin buried beneath a glacier, deciphering clues and ancient languages that all seem to be leading you to… something. Even after all these years, and thousands of grade-A cinema watched in that time, I can’t help but fall in love all over again with this formulaic, yet, perfectly told treasure-hunt / monster-battle mashup. E and I both agree, that after watching Predator, this is a clearly superior Predator film, and of the Alien movies we’ve seen so far (missing Resurrection and Covenant), this is the third best Alien movie. The monsters look excellent, the fight sequences fantastic, and enemy of my enemy element to it just way too much fun. Jord hasn’t seen/rated this yet, but it currently edges out Switchback for the biggest difference between Metacritic score and ZEJ rating in our history, and for good reason. The critics got this one completely wrong.

-Z

Z 7.75
E 8.0
J n/a

~ZEJ 7.88

Conclave

Drama in the Vatican doesn’t do it for Jord, so E and I soloed Conclave, a film which we learned about for the first time just a week or two prior, and I can safely say that Jord may have missed out on an Oscars contender. It may have the juice to take a Best Picture nomination, but the script and acting turned in by this film are phenomenal, as was the cinematography and directing for that matter. I’ve been a Ralph Fiennes truther since his portrayal of Voldemort, and the contrast he draws from a role like that to his here is really astounding. The storytelling is really on another level in this movie, and it makes the political machinations of the papal office extremely juicy and riveting. There’s a horde of top tier supporting characters that maximize the intrigue and thriller component to this movie, from Stanley Tucci to John Lithgow to Carlos Diehz, and of course, Isabella Rossellini. Notably, this is E’s third highest rating this year, and while it’s one of my favorites as well, I’m still a little higher on Love Lies Bleeding, Late Night with the Devil, Didi, and Challengers, which all received 9’s from me. Very curious to see Jord will land on this one.

-Z

Z 8.75
E 9.5
J n/a

~ZEJ 9.13

Predator

After our getting through the first three Alien movies and Romulus, E and I dipped our toes into what kicked off the Predator series for another Spooktober entry, though as we found out, Predator really just turned out to be a dumb 80’s action romp rather than clever horror. Neither of us had ever seen it, but as big fans of Terminator, and given the franchise’s notoriety, we had set our sights a little higher than what this film produced. The concept is really unique, the Predator alien is ingeniously designed, but the choice to make this the baddest commandos in the world kicking butt in jungle and hunted by a superior creature maybe could have worked better had not spent so much time with the baddest commandos in the world just blowing stuff up for a majority of the movie. MILD SPOILER AHEAD: The most compelling part of the whole movie was the ending, where Arnold 1v1s Predator, but becomes totally vulnerable to this clearly better than him enemy. In fact, his acting in that last act compared to the rest of the movie is night and day. There’s a lot of roll your eye moments, as in any dumb action flick, and if you’re into that, there’s plenty to love. If you’ve never seen it, I’d say this is pretty skippable, and you can skip straight to the clearly superior film, Alien vs. Predator.

-Z

Z 7.25
E 6.5
J n/a

~ZEJ 6.88

Jaws

E and I took some liberty for our next Spooktober pick, as its not exactly horror, but certainly horror-adjacent. We had both seen bits and pieces of the year but never the whole movie. Next year will mark 50 years since Jaws was released and it is a true testament to the power of practical effects on how well Jaws holds up. Bruce the shark still looks incredible, particularly in the shots in the water. That said, he’s not actually in the movie that much, due to technical issues the mechanical Bruce suffered, and as many future horror directors would learn from this film and copy into their works, that withholding of the monster adds so much to the suspense and drama of this movie. Because of that fact, you spend a lot of time developing the three main characters: the oceanographer Hooper, the skipper Quint, and the Sheriff Brody, all of whom bring a unique dynamic to the task in front of them - stopping a maneater. Robert Shaw was heavily lauded for his portrayal of Quint, and for good reason, but I think a strong case for the magic of this movie is Sheriff Brody. He represents a kind of character that Spielberg is so good at - wholesome and competent. I see a lot of my late grandfather in him, so maybe that adds something for me, but there’s a really profound moment in the movie where the Sheriff is devastated after multiple shark attacks, his community at odds with each other and being personally blamed for the most recent death, and he’s sitting at the dinner table with his young son, and the son’s mimicking him silently until the Sheriff finally cracks a smile, and the Sheriff says, “give me a kiss, son.” The son asks, “why dad?” The Sheriff answers, “because I need it.” And man that got me! You want a positive example of masculinity? That’s all you need right there. The Sheriff doesn’t lash out in anger because of his circumstances, he takes a beat, regroups, and with a little comfort from his family, readies himself to go find this shark. It’s absolutely brilliant. There’s so much to love in Jaws, of course, but come for the shark and stay for the wholesome Sheriff.

-Z

Z 8.75
E 8.75
J n/a

~ZEJ 8.75

Strange Darling

“That's our song now” -the Lady

This is a movie I loved for a lot of reasons, but the best part was the choice that I made to go into this blind. I was planning on seeing this in an early release, but power issues at the theater caused a hiccup there and I am glad we had theaters near that were showing it. A beautifully filmed movie that constantly keeps your attention beyond the story. You forget cinematography sometimes when watching blockbusters, but when you see this you remember how moving it can be. Along with that, to avoid spoilers, I will say that the storytelling was simple yet unique and effective. I think a lot of choices were made in the making of this film, and I think they batted basically 1.000 on potentially questionable choices. I was able to leave the theater with a smile on my face and was refreshed with a great film I wasn’t expecting. I want to give nothing away so I will end the review with this, go see it!

-J

Jord saw Strange Darling over a month ago, in what I believe was a mystery movie showing that E and I missed, and we finally were able to rent it this weekend. Jord had talked it up quite a bit, so our expectations were high, and it did not disappoint! It’s hard to describe a big part of why it’s so good without spoiling it, but I think I can say there’s subversion here that is chef’s kiss. I’ve seen some Tarantino and Coen brothers comparisons for this, and while I agree, I would also say that this movie is much more stylish than those directors tend to be, and for this movie it really works. The cinematography is really masterful, and the first-time cinematographer Giovanni Ribisi, who plays one of my favorite characters of all-time in Sneaky Pete, has a bright future in that world if he pursues it. It’s a straightforward film, simple plot, almost western-esque in that sense, and that ultimately capped the ceiling for me on its rating, but for what it was… it was brilliant. Super fun watch - check it out!

-Z

Z 8.75
E 8.5
J 9.5

ZEJ 8.92

Piece by Piece

“You know what’d be cool? If we told my story using Lego pieces.” -Pharrell

This was a film that after watching the Lego movies this summer really intrigued me. It intrigued me so much that I even added it to my Movie Fantasy team. Sadly, in some ways it was a bit disappointing in the fact that it was nothing like the Lego movies. It was fully a documentary, when I did go in expecting a movie. Now, disappointing is most likely the wrong word, because I actually adored the film. A fun and exciting way to tell a story. I agree with Pharrell that the best easy to tell this was most likely through Lego’s. The animation was great and the imagery was captivating. I found myself dialed in the entire time. Along with that, it is with no surprise that the music was also phenomenal. This was just a great blend of imagery, music, and story. Zach is known to hate documentaries due to them feeling like homework, but I would argue this feels nothing but. If you get a chance and like music at all, I think that this is a must see film for you!

-J

The ZEJ team went to Piece by Piece fully thinking it was an animated autobiopic movie, but as it turned out, it is actually just a documentary of Pharrell Williams’ life, who is undeniably the most prolific music producer of this century. (Because it’s a documentary, it won’t be placed on the ZEJ ratings table.) The animation and music was absolutely banging, and the creativity of showing Pharrell’s life through the Lego lens was really cool. As far a documentaries go, it probably wasn’t as hard hitting as it could have been, given that it was produced by Pharrell himself. And it definitely felt like a very well polished, high effort commercial for Pharrell’s career. If you’re into that, or music, you’ll like this.

-Z

Z 8.0
E 8.0
J 8.5

ZEJ 8.08

Different Man

“All unhappiness in life comes from not accepting what is. You know who told me that. Lady Gaga.”

This was one of those movies that I didn’t know much about but was extremely excited for. A movie where it could go many different ways and have many different themes. I feel like once I am done, I know about half of them and I would need to watch this a few more times to catch the other ones. A dark tale of finding happiness and understanding the world around you. Through the great acting of Sebastian Stan, Renate Reinsve, and Adam Pearson we were able to see this unique and unnerving story unfold. Throughout the film, you didn’t really know what was going to come next, so much so Z thought it was a horror movie at times. I found myself fully engaged in what was going on and had some physical reactions to the film, which to me tells me that it was doing something right. The ending did get away from it I fear, but overall I have very little complaints. A Different Man is a thought-provoking and emotional film that dives into many themes and emotions. One that should be watched by any self proclaimed cinephile like myself.

-J

Movies that stick with you tend to be special, sometimes especially bad and sometimes especially good. Different Man has stuck with me since we watched it, and trends toward the especially good. I’ve been a Sebastian Stan STAN since the first time I saw him as Bucky Barnes in Captain America: The First Avenger, and this is the first time I’ve seen him in a leading role outside of the MCU, and let me tell you, he is brilliant in Different Man, and hopefully will spur on more leading roles for him elsewhere. Furthermore, Adam Pearson, who is the model for Stan’s character in this and his apparent doppelgänger, is equally captivating in his performance and contrast to Stan’s character. The two of them and Renate Reinsve, set the tone for this movie, which is this uneasiness one can have in one’s own skin, a tone that is amplified by the characters, and that proliferates to you the viewer as well. It’s hard to go too in-depth without spoilers, but as Jord said, I think cinephiles will certainly love this, but I think this is a worth a watch no matter your movie proclivities, as there are some powerful themes to ponder here.

-Z

Z 8.75
E 8.5
J 8.5

ZEJ 8.58

Your Monster

I have fallen in love with the Cinemark Secret Movie series. I have now been to 3 and have been completely caught off guard with what has been shown and got to watch a movie I most likely would have passed on. If you have the opportunity I say try to find some time, but now to the film. What a unique and fun fall movie! This is the definition of genre blending. You are watching a true rom-com + mystery + horror flick. I really have a hard time comparing it to anything, but the closest I get to is Lisa Frankenstein from earlier in the year. It's an indie film that is well acted and at its core really fun. The theater was full of gasps and laughs. I also love the concept of the story. Right now, there is a lack of unique concepts as franchises run supreme, but I crave films like this. Like i said before, this is a fun fall movie great for a Halloween date night! No idea how readily available this will be, but it has a strong reccomendation from me!

-J

Z n/a
E n/a
J 7.75

~ZEJ 7.75

Terrifier 3

“It’s a terrifier Christmas, let horror fill your heart. You hear footsteps that's not Santa, it’s a jolly clown named Art”

This movie is a lot. Let me also preface with the fact that I traditionally do not go for these types of movies either, but when your good buddy asks you to go; you go. When I got there, I expressed my concern that I feel like this may be a movie that only focuses on bloody kills and shock value but was informed that the second one had a strong story and there is a lot more to it. Turns out, I was right. The story was flat and the kills were too much, and not too much like, ‘OMG I can't believe they did that’ but was too much in a sense where I was left rolling my eyes. A movie not made for me, but if you are into torture porn and a bloody movie with an iconic villian, this is your movie! Sadly though, if you're looking for a great film, youl'll need to find another theater.

-J

Z n/a
E n/a
J 6.0

~ZEJ 6.0

The Nightmare Before Christmas

“We've got to find Jack! There's only 365 days left until next Halloween!” -Mayor

This is a movie I had only seen once before at a very formative age. Even though I only saw it one time, it stuck with me decades later. This movie scared me as a kid and I have refused to watch it since. It took a ZEJ trip to the theater to get me to watch it again, as it is one of E’s favorite Halloween movies. As I am older, I do agree that it is less scary (still really scary) but I was able to appreciate it for what it is. A great animated film with some extremely catchy tunes with a fun and unique story. I think the humor 31 years later still hits along with the fact it completely holds up. In those 31 years of animation, so much has changed and I would say that this looks better than most of the stuff coming out today. Overall I am glad I overcame my fear to go see this again and it is hard to argue that it isn’t a classic or even THE Halloween movie.

-J

E and I have seen The Nightmare Before Christmas a handful of times now, and are basically locked in on it being a Spooktober tradition moving forward, but had not officially rated it thus far, and wow, I am glad that the rating watch was in theaters with the whole ZEJ team! For one, finally convincing Jord to watch this after him leaving in fear of it for two decades was cathartic for everyone involved. And for two, seeing the absolutely BEAUTIFUL claymation on the big screen was really something. I was surprised at how much more detail that was able to display, and really made the unique aesthetic of the film even more pronounced and lived in. I consider this a masterpiece, but its somewhat difficult to give a rating. Critically-speaking, E and I’s only complaint is that a couple of the songs are bit more lackluster than others. That said, the less lackluster songs are the kind of earworms that just eat and eat at your brain until there’s nothing left but THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN. The character designs are iconic, and were clearly the work of maestros. I am so impressed with its timelessness, both after 30+ years and in subsequent watches. Jord posited it could be THE Halloween movie, and I am here to tell you that there’s no could. It is THE Halloween movie.

-Z

Z 9.5
E 9.0
J 8.25

ZEJ 8.92

The Witch

Despite the setback with The Blair Witch Project, Spooktober trucks on, and like one might paira wine with their dinner or whatever you alkies do, E and I paired The Blair Witch Project with the Witch, which I guess is more like pairing a wine with another wine. And thankfully, it was much more palatable on the fear-inducing side. Don’t get me wrong, it’s foreboding and anxiety-inducing, but at least E wasn’t punching me afterwards. SPOILERS AHEAD FOR BOTH THE WITCH AND THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (BWP). Part of that being that the witch is shown to you straight away, which makes it a perfect counterpart to BWP, and whose witch you never see. The effect of that is that the ceiling of fear you feel is minimized, but it also sets a foreboding tone immediately, and raises the anxiety floor to a tough level, whereas that takes a while to build in BWP. Fear aside, the Witch is a masterful movie. Coming into this, our exposure to Robert Eggers was The Lighthouse, which we struggled with, and the Northman, which is one of my favorite movies, so batting 50/50, and I was very curious as to which side the Witch would fall. All three movies carry a similar air of foreboding, but our enjoyment and captivation was much more akin to the Northman than the Lighthouse. For his directorial debut, Eggers establishes immediately that he has a master sense of pacing, storytelling, writing, attention to detail and directing at large. The Early Modern English is difficult to understand at parts, but it gives such an authentic vibe to the Puritan aesthetic. E and I both really loved this movie, and our rating puts it as the #3 horror movie on ZEJ and in the top 25 overall, pending Jord’s future rating.

-Z

Z 9.25
E 9.25
J n/a

~ZEJ 9.25

The Blair Witch Project

E and I’s Spooktober movie tradition landed us on The Blair Witch Project last Saturday, which was a first watch for E and first in a couple decades for myself. My memory of this movie was that it was one of the scariest horror films I’d ever seen, but I didn’t promote it that way to E. Upon starting our Spooktober tradition, E has been on quite a roller coaster herself in the horror realm, going from cannot watch them due to fear to discovering that there is actually very little that truly scares her. Hereditary had me fearsome of the dark for a few nights, but E just shrugged it off as “not realistic.” Thus far, the Descent is really the only film that had her shook, and somewhat regretting the watch, but with The Blair Witch Project, we can add another movie to that list. Even after 25 years, the Blair Witch Project still delivers on fear. Part of the timelessness of it, of course, is the found footage documentary format, and when you couple that with the naturalness of the acting it makes it feel so real and that really prevents your brain from telling itself that “it’s just a movie”, and you therefore cannot relax. As the fear of the characters builds, so too does yours, and that tension is really just brilliantly done. The re-watch was not as scary for me as the first time through, but even though I knew how it ended, my unease and anxiety were much too high for my liking for the better part of this film. E was looking over her shoulder, or afraid to look over her shoulder, for about 24 hours post-watch, and I was maligned for not pre-warning her of the fear levels we were dealing with. But, spoiler alert, Spooktober would continue, so it was but a small roadbump in the end. This was a difficult film to rate, as the execution of the concept, acting, dialogue are all like 10/10 masterpiece-level, but in terms of enjoyment, this falls down a bit for me personally. It doesn’t have the re-watchability of other horror favorites, and it’s quite possibly TOO scary, thus the 8.5 rating from me.

-Z

Z 8.5
E 8.25
J n/a

~ZEJ 8.38

Movie Fantasy League 2024 - Week 1 Update

The Movie Fantasy League has kicked off, and amazingly, we had a few of you join our league. Here’s the full list of coaches and their rosters:

Mr Richards (J):

• Anora ($25)

• Emilia Perez ($25)

• Wicked ($20)

• The Room Next Door ($8)

• Here ($8)

• Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl ($5)

• Juror #2 ($5)

• Piece by Piece ($3)

ecrhodes (E):

• Wicked ($20)

• Joker: Folie a Deux ($20)

• A Complete Unknown ($15)

• The Wild Robot ($15)

• September 5 ($10)

• Babygirl ($10)

• Will & Harper ($5)

• Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga ($5)

runningwolf (Z):

• Dune: Part Two ($35)

• Sing Sing ($25)

• Blitz ($20)

• A Real Pain ($10)

• Oh Canada ($3)

• Love Lies Bleeding ($3)

• No Other Land ($3)

• Kneecap ($1)

Austo (Austin R):

• Sing Sing ($25)

• Joker: Folie a Deux ($20)

• Wicked ($20)

• Sonic the Hedgehog 3 ($10)

• Saturday Night ($8)

• Smile 2 ($5)

• The Apprentice ($5)

• Longlegs ($3)

MaxC (Max):

• Gladiator II ($40)

• The Wild Robot ($15)

• We Live in Time ($15)

• Challengers ($10)

• A Real Pain ($10)

• Nosferatu ($8)

• The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim ($5)

• Transformers One ($2)

TheFearedDoctor (Tony):

• Gladiator II ($40)

• Moana 2 ($30)

• Nightbitch ($10)

• Nosferatu ($8)

• Deadpool & Wolverine ($5)

• Joy ($3)

• In the Summers ($2)

• Exhibiting Forgiveness ($2)

StShuffles (Austin T):

• Gladiator II ($40)

• Moana 2 ($30)

• Nightbitch ($10)

• Nosferatu ($8)

• Saturday Night ($8)

• Speak No Evil ($2)

• Lisa Frankenstein ($1)

• Ultraman: Rising ($1)

Wicked, Gladiator II and Nosferatu are the most rostered movies by our eight coaches, with 3 teams a piece, but overall a really awesome variety of movies from the league!

We’ll post periodic updates as this goes along, but best of luck to all who dared enter the ZEJ Reviews Movie Fantasy League!

Scary Movie

After our watch of Scream, E and I followed it up with Scary Movie to see how it held up, and… it really doesn’t. There’s some problematic elements to the humor, which are certainly a product of the time, but just don’t age well no matter how you look at it. The movie primarily spoofs Scream, of course, and in fact, most of the scenes just mirror that of its source material, but the funniest bit actually is the spoof of I Know What You Did Last Summer, which felt very Naked Gun. I will say, Ghostface is a much more proficient killer in Scary Movie than Scream, and it seems very likely to me that some of the body language and swagger of Ghostface in this inspired the future Ryan Reynolds’ Deadpool, as they were some striking similarities in that regard. It is interesting that they chose to spoof Scream, which is such a funny movie in its own right, that it almost makes it daunting to spoof, as there’s significant pressure there to be even funnier, and the reality is that Scary Movie fell short of that mark. Scream is the more humorous of the two, and I cannot recommend you waste your time watching Scary Movie, not even for a nostalgia re-watch.

-Z

Z 6.25
E 6.0
J n/a

~ZEJ 6.13

Scream

“What's your favorite scary movie?” -Ghostface

Maybe this one now? Time will tell for sure but this is at least for sure up there. I always think it's interesting watching an iconic movie that has been copied over time. I always have to remind myself that it isn’t something every movie does, because this is what started it. Scream established the blueprint for modern slashers, and even today, most movies in the genre seem to be chasing its shadow. It is just a perfect blend of comedy and horror. At no moment was I overly scared or overly cringing, and I think any movie lover could find their own enjoyment in the movie. Hearing that and you’re still skeptical, there is also a mystery aspect, so I can’t imagine you couldn’t enjoy it. The cast brings so many levels to the movie. You have your more established and some that are looking for that big break. They bring the world's personalities to this back road town, and everyone has to have their favorites. A horror movie making fun of horror movies then becomes one of the more iconic horror movies? What a wild concept and I am so glad I watched it and don’t own a home phone. 

-J on 7/9/24

E and I kicked off Spooktober with #4 on r/horror’s Top 100 Horror Films, Scream, a first watch for both of us. I had seen Scary Movie a handful of times in my early years, so I was very curious to see how closely the plots were followed, and what could could have spawned five sequels, a TV show, and such a prolific spoof. And boy, we were not disappointed. Scream might be the PERFECT Halloween movie. As Jord said, the balance it finds between humor and horror is amazing, and its really very funny. Actually funnier than Scary Movie is, upon our re-watch of that, which will be my next review. The meta-commentary it makes still holds up completely, and it really just makes the movie so much fun. The characters are all distinct and each serves a brilliant purpose in playing up the mystery of who Ghostface is, and their actors nail each role with perfect pitch. If you want to get the Halloween vibes flowing, throw Scream on, and remember, “Movies don’t create psychos, movies make psychos more creative.”

-Z on 10/11/24

Z 8.5
E 8.5
J 8.75

ZEJ 8.58

Transformers One

We went to this movie after watching Megalopolis and were originally going to see the Joker. We decided to change it up and go to this instead to avoid two bad movies in a row. Initially, I am extremely happy with our decision and I am assuming that will hold up once we see the new Joker film. The best way to describe the film is that it was super fun! It surprisingly did not cater to the adult audience as much as you would think, so a lot of the humor was pretty dull. Aside from that, I thought the story and the action sequences were really good!

-J

Man, Jord kind of mailed that one in, huh? Blame it on the grueling deadlines of his editor. Jord’s right though, Transformers One is fun. But how fun is it, really? Well that depends on how much you are able to shut off the part of your brain the critically analyzes a movie. Because if you can’t do that, then Transformers One has some issues. MILD SPOILERS AHEAD. My biggest issue is that the heel turn for Megatron is SUPER jarring and I did not buy it whatsoever. Optimus and him go from best buds to instant enemies over a piece of information they learn that just is not believable and that really took me out of it. Beyond that, the writing overall just isn’t that good. There’s some pretty lazy attempts at humor, and a weirdly uneventful appearance by Steve Buscemi. The positives? The art direction was cool. The environment was really interesting. The voice acting was very good, particularly from Chris Hemsworth, Brian Tyree Henry and Scarlett Johansson. And it is fun. In Jord’s “turn your brain off” kind of way.

-Z

Z 7.25
E 7.75
J 7.5

ZEJ 7.5

Speak No Evil

“Why are you doing this to us?” - Ben

“Because you let us” -Paddy

After watching Megalopolis, I was excited to get into a more acclaimed movie. Sadly, this didn’t end up holding up either. I had heard from multiple people that this movie was this year's strong horror movie. At first, I was captivated by where it was going, but I struggled really hard with the acting level of everyone except James McAvoy. James as Paddy is a joy, and reminds me of my love that I gained for Batista after Knock at the Cabin, but he had very little to work with from his co-stars. The story itself also fell into the realm of predictable and infuriating at times. The quote I chose was a part of the movie where I realized it had an identity crisis. It wanted to be a deep movie, but I think it then fell into the Hollywood horror trap. With all that being said, I do need to be clear that these are not movies I generally enjoy. Talk to Me and Black Phone are two examples of movies I didn’t love, but have a strong following, so my take should be taken with a grain of salt. Despite James McAvoy's strong performance, the movie was not what I expected. While it may appeal to fans of the genre, viewers seeking a more original and compelling story may find themselves disappointed.

-J

Z n/a
E n/a
J 6.75

~ZEJ 6.75

Megalopolis

“Don’t let the now destroy the future” -Cesar

Now the real question is, if the future involves this movie, would it be okay if the now did destroy it? This was a movie I truly believed that the critics were being strict and that the movie would actually be great. Around 10 minutes in, I realized that was not the case. For such a talented cast and renowned director, the fact this movie is so poorly thrown together is absurd. The harder part is that you also know what he is trying to accomplish and it just falls flat. It is hard to even find some redeeming qualities. If I had to land on some, the larger than life imagery was fun to look at throughout and Shai LeBeouf is electric. Beyond that, I don’t know if this movie needs to be kicked while it's down anymore, and I am not going to add to that. Overall, an extremely disappointing experience and is bad enough that it's not even worth watching in a ‘bad movie’ world.

-J

There was not a single interesting scene in Megalopolis. The only reason I am giving it a 1/10 and not a 0/10 is because it cast Shia LeBeouf, and, sadly, him playing a fascist Nazi is the only semi-interesting thing about this movie. Going into the watch, Jord said, “well if it’s bad, at least it’s not three hours long”, and yet somehow, this felt like it was FOUR hours long. SPOILERS AHEAD. It’s extremely difficult to understand much of anything in this convoluted mess of a movie, but the hero, Adam Driver, is supposed to be the misunderstood genius, whose grand vision and life’s work is a new kind of city, of which the central premise is golden mostly-horizontal escalators that interconnect everything and move you at a pace that would approximate that of a literal snail. In fact, it’s faster to just walk. They run to and fro these tall spire buildings, that are wrapped with these moving walkways, that have NO GUARDRAILS. Apparently the future is very pro-suicide. Everyone in the movie is against Adam Driver’s vision of the future, and I’m like, THEY’RE RIGHT. And I guess this is how Francis Ford Coppola must feel about himself and Megalopolis. He thinks himself to be Adam Driver. Why would it take the director of Godfather 25 years and 120 million of his own money to get this movie made? Because it’s the worst concept for a movie of all-time. And yet, FFC thinks, “no, it’s everybody else that’s wrong.” Sorry Frank, your swan song just ain’t it. I didn’t think I would watch a movie worse than Madame Web this year, and yet here we are. Madame Web is worse in almost every way than Megalopolis, except enjoyment and Madame Web reached 10/10 levels of it’s so bad it’s good, but Megalopolis is just bad. Our ZEJ 2.67 makes it our lowest rated movie of all-time (of movies that have been rated by the full ZEJ team.).

-Z

Z 1.0
E 3.0
J 4.0

ZEJ 2.67