I Saw the TV Glow

One of the more confusing movies of the last year. Once the movie was finished, I had to double check with Z and E to make sure I wasn’t alone in being completely lost on the ending and what we just watched. Things I did know is that the cinematography alone would keep the movie at least an 8. Had some awesome scenes and effects, along with some visually captivating imagery. With that, I think when 10 people watch this, there will be 10 different interpretations. In some ways, that makes movies great, but I seemingly got stuck focusing on the wrong things. Was this a supernatural sci-fi film, or was this all telling a different story. After reading more on the movie, the themes are large and makes the story deeply saddening and paints the picture of what many people have to live through. A movie I was engaged in the entire time, but having to read about it to understand helps create the score I have. On a rewatch I think I would watch almost an entirely different movie, but right now I am scoring the movie I watched.

-J

We didn’t have any context for what this movie was really about until after we saw it, and without it, the ending was really unsatisfying. It felt like it was building to something really interesting, and then it just stopped. With the context, it makes the abrupt ending somewhat more forgivable, but movies can be good without context and still be a great metaphor. That said, I was dialed in the whole time, and this movie was really beautifully shot. Tremendous cinematography and some truly unsettling horror elements. Mr. Melancholy was uniquely horrifying and I really wanted more of that.

-Z

Z 8.0
E 8.25
J 8.5

ZEJ 8.25

Hundreds of Beavers

As of today (5/23) it is the best movie of 2024. Who knew you needed a live action Looney Tunes version of a video game, but we absolutely did. For what it is, a slapstick comedy, it may be perfect... but on the whole of all movies it is not quite there for me. For a no dialog movie, I laughed way more than anyone ever should. A must watch if you get the chance and looking forward to a rewatch!

-J

Ellen deemed Hundreds of Beavers worthy of a 10, just her third ever given, and I wholeheartedly agree. Jord chickened out on his 10, honestly, as Hundreds of Beavers is a PERFECT movie. I’m already daydreaming about re-watching it, and I HATE to re-watch movies. It’s so creative, so absurdly funny, and the nostalgia of my childhood cartoons and games made it feel so warm and familiar, despite the icy and inhospitable landscape showcased in the movie. We have been blessed with some very strong movies already in 2024, but as of this moment, Hundreds of Beavers edges out even Dune: Part Two for ZEJ’s top movie of 2024, and at 9.83, it has the second highest rating of all time, just behind the movie that started this website, EEAAO.

-Z

Do I feel a little uncomfortable giving a slapstick comedy that could be from the 30s with the art style of Blues Clues and Bear in the Big Blue House on cocaine a perfect 10/10? A little bit, yeah, but it just can’t be denied that this is a perfect film. It knew exactly what it wanted to be, and leaned into it as hard as it could. The visual gags were incredible, and it somehow felt like every bit escalated perfectly and paid off right when it should. I wasn’t sure how they were gonna fit a meaningful story into such an insane genre and artstyle, but they somehow did, and it was great. I was grinning ear to ear the entire ride. I didn’t know how they were going to start at 10 and never let up while keeping me from getting burned out on the gags, but I was glued to my seat the entire time. While everything about it seems like this movie should be horrible, it is the definition of delightful.

-Tony (guest rater and official tiebreaker of ZEJ Reviews)

Z 10.0
E 10.0
J 9.5

ZEJ 9.83

Mad Max (1979)

Having only seen Fury Road going into this, Mad Max (1979) is about as far removed from that as you can get, but it was certainly fascinating to see the origins. Ellen and I definitely struggled with comprehension, as the exposition was nonexistent and the audio mix so poor that the dialogue was almost inaudible. The latter two points make this almost unwatchable, but then the ending happens, and you suddenly realize why this franchise exists at all, and the spark of what’s to come keeps me just interested enough to watch the sequel, which I hear is much more akin to Fury Road.

-Z

Z 7.25
E 6.75
J n/a

ZEJ 7.0

Mad Max: Fury Road

With Furiosa on the horizon, we watched Fury Road for the 3rd time, which is saying something, as there are very few movies I'll re-watch these days. Re-confirmed that this is one of my all-time favorite movies. Fresh off of Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, this anti-CGI masterpiece is an equally enveloping world, that I also just can't get enough of. The cinematography, the stuntwork and practical effects, the energy and insanity of the characters and story is just done at such a high level that I literally have an ear-to-ear grin from open to close. Only complaint, a very small one, is the flashbacks Max has, of this unknown girl, and the way it's done don't totally jive with the rest of the movie. It doesn't quite match the tone or pacing or even the quality frankly. Never seen any of the other movies in this franchise and after watching this again, I really need to.

-Z

Z 9.75
E 9.25
J 9.0

ZEJ 9.33

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

We are so back, baby! I love the reboot series of Planet of the Apes maybe as much as Jord loves the original series (and the reboot for that matter) and after seven long years we return to our beloved CGI ape-realm. After logging the scores from Jord's rewatch I learned that each of the reboot movies thus far has been nominated for Best Visual Effects at the Oscars and that feels so right, as Apes and Avatar have to be two of the best CGI-based franchises in existence. As far as Kingdom goes, I loved it, and it felt like a true continuation of the reboot trilogy. The world felt so real, as did all the characters. As Jord put it, something was missing, and it's hard to exactly put a finger on what that was. I think, despite it being 2 hours and 25 minutes, I wanted more. There's a lot of setup in this movie for the next two movies, and that maybe leaves you with not quite enough time with the different factions. Really excited to see where this goes.

-Z

Z 8.75
E 8.25
J 8.75

ZEJ 8.58

Fall Guy

Being as obsessed as I have been with Ryan Gosling, since my formative years with The Notebook, and taken to new heights with Barbie, I was very much looking forward to Fall Guy, but this just didn't quite have it. David Leitch's tone for his movies has definitely shifted a bit from the original John Wick to Deadpool 2 to Bullet Train, and Fall Guy shaped up to be perhaps the silliest of his movies yet, but this just wasn't funny, even though it desperately needed the humor to make it all fly. Leitch didn't write this; however, and as it was an ode to his stuntperson heritage, the stunts and action shown were top-notch as expected. The ending really suffered from a lack of logic, and made the whole movie unravel. I was entertained; however, despite the disappointment, and my eternal passion for Gosling has not changed. Your heroes are sometimes just stuck in mediocre movies, and it's not their fault.

-Z

Z 7.25
E 6.75
J 7.75

ZEJ 7.25

Snack Shack

Somehow has a decent amount of Challengers vibes! But I am a sucker for all coming of age movies like this, so 8 with a grain of salt. Some funny parts, but sadly the emotional parts are pretty easy to see coming. I really enjoyed it and will watch again once its streaming for free

-J

Z N/A
E N/A
J 8.0

~ZEJ 8.0

Argylle

Argyle

I actually enjoyed it until about the last 45 minutes. It is exactly what it seems like it is, but it was fun and it was interesting figuring out the mystery behind it. It ended asking "how unrealistic can we make it" and leaned into making it really corny. A bit too long, don't regret watching, a fun little turn your brain off movie.

-J

For a movie with a runtime that is 139 minutes, and is a decently C movie for the first hour and a half, the third act is some of the worst cinema I've ever seen, definitely since we started the spreadsheet. And the frustrating part is that it's so bad and every scene drags on for so long that that third act feels like the equivalent length of the first two acts combined. The fact that Jord rated this within a quarter point of Challengers is unforgivable. (Jord would later amend his 7.75 to 7.5)

-Z

Z 5.5
E 5.0
J 7.5

ZEJ 6.0

Challengers

The trailer made this look so bad, and a movie about tennis and a love triangle probably is bad 99 out of 100 times but this was not one of those times. Zendaya's ability to pick winning projects is infallible I guess, and the electric performances from herself, Mike Faist & Josh O'Connor, along with their infectious chemistry just completely sucks you in. Jord, who is somehow anemic to banger music, was rattled by Trent Reznor's techno score that was persistently in your face, and amplified every soapy moment to such an over the top level, but in a good way. Rarely do you get a soap opera that has A+ writing, Twin Peaks being one of the few pieces of media that has ever pulled it off, and this was one of those rare treats. Guadagnino's directing had just a few missteps, perhaps an overindulgent ending (but also perfect), and between this and Call Me by Your Name, the man has produced some of the hottest melodrama this century. Must watch.

-Z

Z 9.0
E 9.0
J 8.0

~ZEJ 8.67

Sasquatch Sunset

I've seen some truly bizarre movies, but this one may take the cake. Fun fact, this is the second movie with zero dialogue we've watched in the last two months, that is also not a silent movie, which makes two movies I've ever seen that fall into that category. The sasquatch costumes are insane, could win an Oscar, and there is some gorgeous cinematography. If you believed sasquatches are real, then this is like the most sincere nature documentary for the species that you could watch, but unlike a good nature doc, the lack of narration from David Attenborough made this mostly just really boring, and surprisingly humorless.

-Z

Z 7.0
E 6.0
J 7.25

ZEJ 6.75

Civil War

This did an action movie better than most action movies, while not being at all the point of the movie. Really fascinating world the movie hints at, but never delves into enough, with fascinating characters that never get a chance to develop whatsover. Had high potential, but disappointing ultimately.

-Z

Z 7.75
E 7.75
J 8.0

ZEJ 7.83

The Long Game

"Sometimes you land in the fairway, sometimes the bunker. But you always play it as it lies.”

It's a pretty crazy story. But the movie is so corny lol... exactly like every sports movie it seems

-J

Z N/A
E N/A
J 7.0

~ZEJ 7.0

Late Night with the Devil

Saw this at 4 PM on Tuesday at Varsity Theater, which was a choice, as we were the only ones in the theater, and though this wasn't the scariest movie I've ever seen, it was so unnerving that the emptiness of the theater definitely compounded the dread. Absolutely loved this movie. Ellen thinks its a top 5 horror movie for her all-time, and I think I'm probably there too. I was absolutely dialed in for the entire film, transfixed by David Dastmalchian, Ingrid Torelli, and Ian Bliss. All the style choices were perfect, with the found footage and limited but pitch perfect narration. Absolutely loved it.

-Z

Great movie. Easily one of the most original concepts for a movie I’ve seen in a long time. It towed the line perfectly between a modern day and classic horror movie, with some of the effects feeling right out of an 80s slasher film. David Dastmalchian absolutely shined as the leading man. For playing a creep in basically everything, he played the relatable talk show host perfectly. And I won’t even go into the thinly veiled commentary on the state of talkshows nowadays. Overall a great film that didn’t overstay its welcome, that had me laughing while also white knuckling my chair and taking deep breaths.

9.0 / 10

-Tony (Guest Rater & Official Tiebreaker)

Z 9.25
E 9.0
J 8.5

ZEJ 8.92

Monkey Man

The trailer made this look amazing, and it kind of was, until the third act, in which it just totally fell apart. Dev Patel was already a must watch actor, and for his directorial debut, this was an entertaining first attempt, with story elements that were very intriguing but just couldn't quite tie all together in a way that made sense. Look forward to what Dev does next.

-Z

Z 7.25
E 7.0
J 7.5

ZEJ 7.25

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

A fun throwback to the mid-2000s, when homophobia was still considered funny. The poor agedness of that aside, it's an enjoyable noir whodunnit, and attempts to be Tarantino-esque in terms of plot points and dialogue, featuring a brilliant performance from Robert Downey Jr. in the very first role out of his rehab stint, ushering in his comeback to becoming Iron Man. Definitely worth a watch if you're looking for something comedic and nostalgic.

-Z

Z 7.5
E 7.25
J N/A

~ZEJ 7.38

Green Room

Really cleverly written movie with almost no exposition, which was refreshing, and all of the characters felt real and humanized, despite more than half of them being Nazis. As much as I love Patrick Stewart, I didn't feel like he was right for this role. Felt out of place. There was some action sequences that didn't exactly make sense, especially whenever the dogs were involved. But overall really fun movie with full adrenaline for the final four-fifths, which is always fun.

-Z

Greenroom (2015) gets a 9.0 from me. Cool story, great visuals, and believable characters. Austin was right. Patrick Stewart does play a great villain. His calmness and professionalism was pretty effin unsettling. I struggled with this one, as i don't do super well with suspensful thrillers like this, but i felt all the suspense was important in the story and not just there to make me feel nervous. All in all, highly enjoyed the film, and ill probably never watch it again.

-Tony, Guest Rater & Official Tiebreaker

Z 8.5
E 8.5
J N/A

~ZEJ 8.5

Love Lies Bleeding

What an absolute ride. It has everything. Humor, guns, steroids, Ed Harris in an absolutely ridiculous wig that somehow makes sense, Dave Franco with the most unbelievable rat tail that somehow makes sense, an incredibly tight script and pacing with no wasted moments or filler, and pitch perfect performances by every actor involved. Totally unique. Loved every second of it.

-Z

Z 9.0
E 9.0
J 9.0

ZEJ 9.0

Origin

One of the most polarizing movies of 2023 for Ellen and I. It's underlying premise is really powerful, i.e. based on the nonfiction book Caste about how racism in America is actually an aspect of a caste system which is a global phenomenon and connects the black experience in America to persecution of the Jews and the untouchables in India. I struggled with it as a movie; however, as I found it slow and dramatic most of the time. Ellen was largely dialed in for the duration. It was considered a snub by some critics for the Oscars as it had no nominations but I can't say I disagree with the academy on this one.

-Z

Z 7.25
E 8.25
J N/A

~ZEJ 7.75

The Boy and the Heron

Visually beautiful per usual with Miyazaki but the story was not very unique per his prior work and didn't grab me very much. Pattinson's dub work was top notch. 8.25. Worth a watch but not Oscar worthy IMO.

-Z

Z 8.25
E 8.0
J 8.0

~ZEJ 8.08