Scary Movie

After our watch of Scream, E and I followed it up with Scary Movie to see how it held up, and… it really doesn’t. There’s some problematic elements to the humor, which are certainly a product of the time, but just don’t age well no matter how you look at it. The movie primarily spoofs Scream, of course, and in fact, most of the scenes just mirror that of its source material, but the funniest bit actually is the spoof of I Know What You Did Last Summer, which felt very Naked Gun. I will say, Ghostface is a much more proficient killer in Scary Movie than Scream, and it seems very likely to me that some of the body language and swagger of Ghostface in this inspired the future Ryan Reynolds’ Deadpool, as they were some striking similarities in that regard. It is interesting that they chose to spoof Scream, which is such a funny movie in its own right, that it almost makes it daunting to spoof, as there’s significant pressure there to be even funnier, and the reality is that Scary Movie fell short of that mark. Scream is the more humorous of the two, and I cannot recommend you waste your time watching Scary Movie, not even for a nostalgia re-watch.

-Z

Z 6.25
E 6.0
J n/a

~ZEJ 6.13

Scream

“What's your favorite scary movie?” -Ghostface

Maybe this one now? Time will tell for sure but this is at least for sure up there. I always think it's interesting watching an iconic movie that has been copied over time. I always have to remind myself that it isn’t something every movie does, because this is what started it. Scream established the blueprint for modern slashers, and even today, most movies in the genre seem to be chasing its shadow. It is just a perfect blend of comedy and horror. At no moment was I overly scared or overly cringing, and I think any movie lover could find their own enjoyment in the movie. Hearing that and you’re still skeptical, there is also a mystery aspect, so I can’t imagine you couldn’t enjoy it. The cast brings so many levels to the movie. You have your more established and some that are looking for that big break. They bring the world's personalities to this back road town, and everyone has to have their favorites. A horror movie making fun of horror movies then becomes one of the more iconic horror movies? What a wild concept and I am so glad I watched it and don’t own a home phone. 

-J on 7/9/24

E and I kicked off Spooktober with #4 on r/horror’s Top 100 Horror Films, Scream, a first watch for both of us. I had seen Scary Movie a handful of times in my early years, so I was very curious to see how closely the plots were followed, and what could could have spawned five sequels, a TV show, and such a prolific spoof. And boy, we were not disappointed. Scream might be the PERFECT Halloween movie. As Jord said, the balance it finds between humor and horror is amazing, and its really very funny. Actually funnier than Scary Movie is, upon our re-watch of that, which will be my next review. The meta-commentary it makes still holds up completely, and it really just makes the movie so much fun. The characters are all distinct and each serves a brilliant purpose in playing up the mystery of who Ghostface is, and their actors nail each role with perfect pitch. If you want to get the Halloween vibes flowing, throw Scream on, and remember, “Movies don’t create psychos, movies make psychos more creative.”

-Z on 10/11/24

Z 8.5
E 8.5
J 8.75

ZEJ 8.58

Transformers One

We went to this movie after watching Megalopolis and were originally going to see the Joker. We decided to change it up and go to this instead to avoid two bad movies in a row. Initially, I am extremely happy with our decision and I am assuming that will hold up once we see the new Joker film. The best way to describe the film is that it was super fun! It surprisingly did not cater to the adult audience as much as you would think, so a lot of the humor was pretty dull. Aside from that, I thought the story and the action sequences were really good!

-J

Man, Jord kind of mailed that one in, huh? Blame it on the grueling deadlines of his editor. Jord’s right though, Transformers One is fun. But how fun is it, really? Well that depends on how much you are able to shut off the part of your brain the critically analyzes a movie. Because if you can’t do that, then Transformers One has some issues. MILD SPOILERS AHEAD. My biggest issue is that the heel turn for Megatron is SUPER jarring and I did not buy it whatsoever. Optimus and him go from best buds to instant enemies over a piece of information they learn that just is not believable and that really took me out of it. Beyond that, the writing overall just isn’t that good. There’s some pretty lazy attempts at humor, and a weirdly uneventful appearance by Steve Buscemi. The positives? The art direction was cool. The environment was really interesting. The voice acting was very good, particularly from Chris Hemsworth, Brian Tyree Henry and Scarlett Johansson. And it is fun. In Jord’s “turn your brain off” kind of way.

-Z

Z 7.25
E 7.75
J 7.5

ZEJ 7.5

Speak No Evil

“Why are you doing this to us?” - Ben

“Because you let us” -Paddy

After watching Megalopolis, I was excited to get into a more acclaimed movie. Sadly, this didn’t end up holding up either. I had heard from multiple people that this movie was this year's strong horror movie. At first, I was captivated by where it was going, but I struggled really hard with the acting level of everyone except James McAvoy. James as Paddy is a joy, and reminds me of my love that I gained for Batista after Knock at the Cabin, but he had very little to work with from his co-stars. The story itself also fell into the realm of predictable and infuriating at times. The quote I chose was a part of the movie where I realized it had an identity crisis. It wanted to be a deep movie, but I think it then fell into the Hollywood horror trap. With all that being said, I do need to be clear that these are not movies I generally enjoy. Talk to Me and Black Phone are two examples of movies I didn’t love, but have a strong following, so my take should be taken with a grain of salt. Despite James McAvoy's strong performance, the movie was not what I expected. While it may appeal to fans of the genre, viewers seeking a more original and compelling story may find themselves disappointed.

-J

Z n/a
E n/a
J 6.75

~ZEJ 6.75

Megalopolis

“Don’t let the now destroy the future” -Cesar

Now the real question is, if the future involves this movie, would it be okay if the now did destroy it? This was a movie I truly believed that the critics were being strict and that the movie would actually be great. Around 10 minutes in, I realized that was not the case. For such a talented cast and renowned director, the fact this movie is so poorly thrown together is absurd. The harder part is that you also know what he is trying to accomplish and it just falls flat. It is hard to even find some redeeming qualities. If I had to land on some, the larger than life imagery was fun to look at throughout and Shai LeBeouf is electric. Beyond that, I don’t know if this movie needs to be kicked while it's down anymore, and I am not going to add to that. Overall, an extremely disappointing experience and is bad enough that it's not even worth watching in a ‘bad movie’ world.

-J

There was not a single interesting scene in Megalopolis. The only reason I am giving it a 1/10 and not a 0/10 is because it cast Shia LeBeouf, and, sadly, him playing a fascist Nazi is the only semi-interesting thing about this movie. Going into the watch, Jord said, “well if it’s bad, at least it’s not three hours long”, and yet somehow, this felt like it was FOUR hours long. SPOILERS AHEAD. It’s extremely difficult to understand much of anything in this convoluted mess of a movie, but the hero, Adam Driver, is supposed to be the misunderstood genius, whose grand vision and life’s work is a new kind of city, of which the central premise is golden mostly-horizontal escalators that interconnect everything and move you at a pace that would approximate that of a literal snail. In fact, it’s faster to just walk. They run to and fro these tall spire buildings, that are wrapped with these moving walkways, that have NO GUARDRAILS. Apparently the future is very pro-suicide. Everyone in the movie is against Adam Driver’s vision of the future, and I’m like, THEY’RE RIGHT. And I guess this is how Francis Ford Coppola must feel about himself and Megalopolis. He thinks himself to be Adam Driver. Why would it take the director of Godfather 25 years and 120 million of his own money to get this movie made? Because it’s the worst concept for a movie of all-time. And yet, FFC thinks, “no, it’s everybody else that’s wrong.” Sorry Frank, your swan song just ain’t it. I didn’t think I would watch a movie worse than Madame Web this year, and yet here we are. Madame Web is worse in almost every way than Megalopolis, except enjoyment and Madame Web reached 10/10 levels of it’s so bad it’s good, but Megalopolis is just bad. Our ZEJ 2.67 makes it our lowest rated movie of all-time (of movies that have been rated by the full ZEJ team.).

-Z

Z 1.0
E 3.0
J 4.0

ZEJ 2.67

My Old Ass

“I’m not 40, im 39” -Older Elliot

A movie that I saw at the secret movie that Cinemark theaters put on. This is a movie I most likely would have waited to be streaming, if even then. I am so glad that I got the opportunity when I did. It is the type of movie that I think is really fun. A great soundtrack, mushy love story, and some cringy laughs; making an ideal romance coming of age. In no way is this a perfect movie and I could see a lot of people calling me crazy for the rating, but I had a lot of fun. On top of that, I thought the acting was good, but I was frustrated with the casting. They even talk about the lack of resemblance between Aubrey Plaza and Maisy Stella, but I have a hard time getting over it. Overall, if you are looking for a fun movie that gives you some fall vibes, this is the one for you!

-J

Z n/a
E n/a
J 8.0

~ZEJ 8.0

Movie Fantasy League 2024

For our first non-review post, the ZEJ team will be revealing our entries for Vulture.com’s Movie Fantasy League (MFL). Shoutout to our friend Ariel for sharing the very existence of the MFL with E, as being huge fantasy football junkies and cinephiles, it could not be more up our alley. Here’s how it works (explainer taken directly from Vulture.com):

• Draft a team of eight movies that were or will be released in 2024 before the draft deadline on October 3, 2024. (Movies are assigned a dollar value based on how likely they are to perform well. You have a $100 budget to use to draft your team.)

• Starting on October 4, you’ll accrue points based on the box-office performance, awards haul, and critical reception of those movies.

• The teams that earn the most points when the game ends after the 2025 Oscars will win one or more of the great prizes below.

Below are our respective entries, but if you would like join our league, make your entry using the following link and make sure you enter “ZEJ Reviews” as the league name: https://moviegame.vulture.com/

J’s Team:

• Anora ($25)

• Emilia Perez ($25)

• Wicked ($20)

• The Room Next Door ($8)

• Here ($8)

• Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl ($5)

• Juror #2 ($5)

• Piece by Piece ($3)

E’s Team:

• Wicked ($20)

• Joker: Folie a Deux ($20)

• A Complete Unknown ($15)

• The Wild Robot ($15)

• September 5 ($10)

• Babygirl ($10)

• Will & Harper ($5)

• Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga ($5)

Z’s Team:

• Dune: Part Two ($35)

• Sing Sing ($25)

• Blitz ($20)

• A Real Pain ($10)

• Oh Canada ($3)

• Love Lies Bleeding ($3)

• No Other Land ($3)

• Kneecap ($1)

We all did this not knowing who picked what, and amazingly the only duplicate movie appears to be Wicked! If it bombs, that will be a huge boost for Z, but if it cleans up, that’s gonna be tough.

We’ll post periodic updates of how our teams are doing throughout the season, and if you are joining us at the link above, prepare to be wrecked!

The Substance

“You got to pump it up, don’t chu know, pump it up!”

My short review is this. This is a movie that was exactly what I expected it to be, but in a much more real sense was nothing that I expected! When looking at promos and trailers, the general path flows where I expected it, but that path was not paved! A really unique film that is absolutely not for anyone. If you are put off from body horror in any way, then avoid. This film has a cast, but really focuses on 3; Demi Moore, Margret Qualley, and Dennis Quaid. All three are phenomenal and I giggle at the fact Dennis is in this and the film Regan right now and Margret was just officially casted in Happy Gilmore 2. It just shows their range; but back to the movie.

Like I said, it's a film that isn’t for everyone which is a tough pill to swallow, as it has so many elite aspects to it in a film sense. The thing it struggles with the most is its length. I found that it dragged a little and caused a slump a few times within the movie. Aside from that, some over the top body horror, and almost comedic level gore I think you have a fresh new look at a ‘horror’ film. The Substance is a bold and unconventional film that offers a unique blend of horror, drama, and sci-fi. While its body horror aspect may not be for everyone, the film's strong performances, thought provoking themes, and unique world makes it an experience for those willing to embrace its weird approach.

-J

E and I went in completely blind to this movie, knowing only that it was in the horror genre, and wow, what a ride it was. Certainly the most visceral movie of the year, edging out Love Lies Bleeding in this regard, as I was completely tense almost the entire runtime. That tenseness is largely due to the extreme body horror that is displayed, but also the general mood of the film, which is just anxiety-inducing. As Jordan said, the nature of this movie makes it unpalatable for a wider audience, which is hard, because the movie overall was this close to being a 10/10 masterpiece. The concept, acting, style, and effects are all masterfully done, but holding it back are some poor pacing and lack of in-universe logic. The movie is heavily metaphoric, critiquing society’s beauty standards for women, but to a point that actually prevents the movie from maintaining in-universe logic, which a true masterpiece would maintain. I Saw the TV Glow struggled with this to nth degree. It’s a difficult movie to recommend, as you’ll likely only be able to even get through the whole runtime if you’re a fan of horror or are sick-o cinephiles like the ZEJ team, but if that’s you, then you are going to love this movie.

-Z

Z 8.75
E 8.75
J 9.0

ZEJ 8.83

Friday Night Lights

“Perfection is being able to look your friends in the eye and know you did everything you could not to let them down.” -Coach Gary Gaines

This is an extremely hard film for me to review. It is pretty well known that it is my favorite movie of all time and that I most likely am going to skew this rating some. I tried to get out of the rating system on this one, but Z and E wouldn’t let me off the hook. In my world this is a 10, but the ZEJ scale is sacred and I have to have some honesty in knowing that it isn’t a perfect film. Getting the chance to watch this in theaters was such a joy for me and a surreal experience. A film that dives into multiple characters' stories by letting you see glimpses of them and let you create and feel their backstory. Along with good character design, it also has a unique filming style, which may not feel that way now, but was great in 2004. Lastly, I love the soundtrack and to this day listen to Explosions in the Sky, and I am almost sure Z will write something about it being a little too much, but he is wrong! Along with a deep message at its core, the reason I love this film is how raw it is. It isn’t a standard Disney feel good and it feels like a real movie. So as Gary Gaines said, perfect isn’t necessarily being perfect, but giving everything you have, which this film does for me.

**Side note: If you have a film that means alot to you and you have a chance to see it in theaters, find a way to do it. Theater experience is the best way to watch a film and you won't regret it!

-J

For the 20th anniversary of its release, a couple theaters had showings of Friday Night Lights, which as Jord mentioned, is his all-time favorite movie. I remembered if fondly myself, having seen it a couple times in the mid-2000s, but Ellen had NEVER seen it somehow, so we thought it would be fun to get the ZEJ team in theaters to re-live this, or in E’s case, experience for the first time. For Jord, to watch a movie he watches two or three times a year in theaters for the first time ever, is special, and I don’t want to take that away from him, but the journalist in me has to point out some of the flaws of 20-year-old movie. The first of which, is that it is not a very good theater experience. The movie was shot in the early 2000s style of a thousand quick cuts per scene and camera shake that on the big screen actually make it almost hard to watch. Think the “you wouldn’t steal a car” PSA stylization and effect, which actually did come out the same year as this movie, and you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Secondly, the movie plays up the apparent black / white race divide of the era, attempting to show reality, but it does so in such a poor way that it actually makes the movie come off as racist itself. Finally, there is such little character development and over-reliance on the, to be fair, masterful Explosions in the Sky soundtrack to draw out emotion, that it feels gimmicky. That being said, despite its very real flaws, I still enjoyed it overall. There’s not many sports movies that show a team that loses “the big game”, and there’s certainly no sports movies that are as BLEAK as this one. I’m not a fan of bleak in general, but it makes this movie standout from the genre and I think accurately depicts the undercurrent of this movie, which is that in this community, high school football is EVERYTHING, to the point where it can become not fun anymore. And the movie somewhat critiques this view, with a scout at one point reminding our protagonist, that “it’s supposed to be fun, you know? Greatest game in the world,” and I think by the end of the movie, the team mostly understands this, despite all the external pressure of the parents and community at large. Friday Night Lights is heavily flawed, yes, but a movie worth watching if you’re a fan of the genre.

-Z

Z 8.0
E 7.25
J 9.5

ZEJ 8.25

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

“I know it’s hard to believe you could tie down the Juice” -Beetlejuice

After watching the first, it was hard to believe that a second one was needed. I said in my original review that I wasn’t a huge fan of the movie, but I can recognize why people love it and its place in Hollywood. The biggest compliment that can be said about this movie is that if you liked the original, this is a movie catered to you.

-J

Between the Alien series watch to prep for Romulus and the Beetlejuice watch to prep for Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, Spooktober has come early for E and I, and we are loving it! Making a sequel to Beetlejuice is a choice given the drama around Alec Baldwin and the sickening criminal proclivities of Jeffrey Jones, but nevertheless Tim Burton forged on, and much in the vein of the original, the sequel is all over the place, and for the most part in the best of ways. Didn’t totally love what they did to Winona Ryder’s character, she didn’t seem congruent to her character in the original, but everyone in the movie seems to be having a blast, and though it won’t it win Best Picture, we had a blast too. The best part of the movie, as was true in the original, is of course Michael Keaton, and he reprises his iconic role with such seamlessness and apparent lack of agedness that you can’t help but cheer for Betelguese, despite his abhorrent nature. Also, shout-out to Catherine O’Hara, who steals every scene she’s in, just as she did in the original. It’s certainly flawed, but so much fun that it just sort of doesn’t matter.

-Z

Z 7.5
E 7.75
J 7.5

ZEJ 7.58

Burn After Reading

This was a favorite of E and I’s from our one and only watch a decade ago and we threw it on for E’s birthday for a revisit, and were surprised at how much less impressed we were the second time around. Have our tastes changed that much? Are our standards higher? More mature? Hard to say, but it is fascinating how our perception of art can change over time. Burn After Reading is certainly worth a watch if you’ve never seen it, particularly if you’re a Coen fan, as it still has its moments, a good amount of humor, and an all-time stacked cast. By the end of the movie, the plot; however, will have you asking “what was the point of all that”? And believe or not, for the Coen’s twisted minds, that is the point.

-Z

Z 7.75
E 7.75
J n/a

~ZEJ 7.75

Dìdi

I have said it once and I will say it again, I am a sucker for a great coming of age film. Graduating in 2010 let this film hit even better. From T9 to myspace, I was able to feel like I was in a time machine. The movie also helped me realize that we had a lot of unknown by growing up in this time period. It created new challenges and we got to see and feel the emotions that DiDi went through. Along with some of the deep nature that it goes into, it was also really funny. My only really big issue with the film is that 8th to 9th grade is tough, but it seems extra tough for DiDi. In some ways this is a pretty depressing film, but overall it scratched the itch that I had. I think it may be in Oscar talks if we are lucky. Even if it doesn’t, everyone should find some time to see it.

-J

With the exception that none of us are Taiwanese, Dìdi was tailor-made for the ZEJ crew, depicting Chris Wang’s summer before high school in 2008, and all of us at ZEJ were also in high school at that time, so the specificity to that time hit way too close to home for us. Coming-of-age always has an easy time pulling at my heart strings, but this movie played more on the cringe and painful side of teenagehood that certainly made it more unique and powerful, but with much less of the joy that often is coupled with those ideas, and for me, that made it a bit harder watch. Don’t get me wrong, the writing, cinematography and acting are all top-notch, and director Sean Wang, who the movie is largely a depiction of, can clearly produce great cinema, and Dìdi is certainly worth checking out.

-Z

Z 8.75
E 9.0
J 9.0

ZEJ 8.92

Beetlejuice

“We’re very unhappy” -Barbara

“What did you expect? You’re dead!” - Juno

With the second one coming out, I thought that I needed to give this a watch. I remember not really enjoying it, so I needed to see if that thought held up. I can’t lie, the mix of horror and comedy is fun, but I am not sure if it made a great film. The film's plot wasn’t the most complex, and I was amazed at how little we actually see from Beetlejuice himself. The funniest thing to me is how poorly it has aged with his crude humor and even with that we are getting a sequel. Overall, it wasn’t the movie itself but the amazing set and visuals that did it for me. I may not love Tim Burton, but I have to give credit where it is due and say that it is a beautiful movie. Overall, I am a bit confused on why we are getting a second one, but I can say I did like it more than I expected!

-J

I’m just going to lead with this: Jord has no clue what he’s talking about. The character Betelgeuse is a total creep and the same movie done today wouldn’t land the same - no argument. Does that make this film any less delightful? Not at all. Sure, the plot’s all over the place and the whole thing ends kind of abruptly, but what you witness is PEAK Tim Burton and PEAK Michael Keaton. The claymation and character designs combine for one of the most bizarre, charming, and unique depictions of the afterlife and spiritual realm of all time. Betelgeuse is deplorable, certainly, but Michael Keaton absolutely EATS in a role that would help to land him his casting as the Batman (he previously wasn’t thought to be menacing enough). Alec Baldwin & Geena Davis’ tragic romance is adorable, and the Deetz family and their interior designer Otho are so distinct and iconic it’s hard to fully give enough credit. Very excited to see what the sequel can add to the universe that this Halloween classic created.

-Z

Z 8.5
E 8.0
J 7.5

ZEJ 8.0

Blink Twice

Ignoring some necessary suspension of belief and/or plot holes for this movie to really work, that I won’t spoil for you, Zoe Kravitz directorial debut was a really fun suspense thriller that I would definitely recommend. The pacing, cinematography, and acting were all superb, as was the dialogue. I would skip the trailer, as that pretty much gives away the whole movie, and pretty much undercut the impact of the hook, but the how of it all was enough to keep E and I riveted. Your experience going in knowing nothing may be even better than ours. Great flick for a movie night if you enjoy thrillers!

-Z

Z 8.25
E 8.0
J n/a

ZEJ 8.13

Sing Sing

Going into this film, I knew that it had some Oscar buzz, so I wasn't sure if I should be ready to be wowed, ready for tears, or a mixture of both. When it ended though, I sadly didn’t feel like I hit either of them. The concept of using actual prisoners who have been rehabilitated from the program was amazing and definitely my favorite aspect. My issue is that even though the film's premise is intriguing, the storytelling felt somewhat disjointed. I never fully grasped any characters, and I feel like the relationship between the two main actors was rushed and I never felt their true connection. Despite these shortcomings, Sing Sing is a film that deserves recognition for a high quality film. The performances were great, and it has some depth that cannot be matched by other films. I am most likely being harsh, but the film is a must see and I am sure it will be around Oscar time.

-J

Add Sing Sing to your must watch list for 2024, as it is one of the most moving and well acted movies of the year. An absolute lock for best picture nominee, Sing Sing tells the true story of a theater group inside Sing Sing Correctional Facility, which allows inmates both an escape and avenue to express themselves in ways they often could not due to their life circumstances. Colman Domingo, who E and I fell in love with BEFORE ANYBODY on Fear the Walking Dead, delivers a commanding performance of “Divine G”, a playwright and actor inside of Sing Sing who was wrongfully convicted of murder. But he is perhaps upstaged by the rest of the cast, who are real life former convicts of Sing Sing playing themselves. Divine Eye, in particular, steals every scene he’s in, and delivers an Oscar-worthy performance if I’ve ever seen one. I was really floored by the very existence of this movie, and how brilliantly it came together.

-Z

Z 9.25
E 8.75
J 8.75

ZEJ 8.92

It Ends with Us

“And as hard as this choice is, we break the pattern before the pattern breaks us.” -Lily

I am very aware that I am not the target audience for this film, but I am very partial to love stories. Overall, I had decent expectations with how much buzz this was getting but was left overall disappointed. A movie with a heavy topic, but I think I struggled to let it hit hard. I hear about all these people having good cry’s throughout the movie and it should come as no surprise that a tough guy like myself didn’t cry, but in reality I don’t even know where I was supposed to. Along with that, it is a ‘blockbuster’ at its core and I did love the needle drops. I think the music drew me in when it was getting stale, but I do recognize that this is a cheap way to engage the audience. Overall, if you read the book I am sure it is great and you should see it, but I was left feeling like this was a fine film.

-J

Z n/a
E n/a
J 7.25

~ZEJ 7.25

Switchback

“Because he told the truth. Once you've heard the truth, everything else is just cheap whiskey” -Sheriff Buck Olmstead

The cast is great, the setting and visuals are great, and the cinematography is cool. Does that make a great movie? Not always. Switchback has some extremely cool elements to it. I think the story does have some flaws though. I think the characters are interesting and I love a cat and mouse movie. The issue is I don’t know if the whole movie was hashed out before they started filming. Overall though, I enjoyed the watch and look forward to watching more movies recommended by the infamous Big Brett!

-J

One of my dad “Big Brett’s” all-time favorite movies, and in the family DVD collection I watched in great volume as a kid, Jord stumbled upon that very DVD in E and I’s house the other day, and upon hearing that it was one of Big Brett’s all-timers, he immediately went out and watched it. Somehow, E had never seen it either, so we decided to give it the full ZEJ treatment. From my memory, this was an awful movie, and a despite a 31 Metacritic score, we were all surprised at how fun it was, and though not a masterpiece, it’s certainly an entertaining C-level movie. At its best, is basically any scene with Danny Glover, and his serial killer character “Bob”, who absolutely EATS in this role. It’s an amazing dynamic, as charismatic and transfixing as Glover is in this, his road companion, baby Jared Leto, is one of the most pointless characters in all of cinema. Dennis Quaid plays a pretty forgettable FBI agent, and is completely outclassed in every way by R. Lee Ermey, “Sheriff Buck”, who is a total scene stealer. At its worst - the entire ending, with a half-baked Mission: Impossible train ending that is such a letdown for the seemingly mastermind plan the friendly neighborhood serial killer “Bob” created. Currently not streaming anywhere, I wouldn’t go out of your way and rent it, but if its ever streaming or you find it in DVD form at a garage sale and still have a way to watch DVDs, and you want to see Danny Glover in a truly captivating heel turn, then it’s a fun throwback to throw on. And as Big Brett would say, “the scenery alone is worth the watch”.

-Z

Z 7.25
E 7.25
J 7.5

ZEJ 7.33

Cuckoo

“That’s a weird way to say it, don’t you see that!” -Gretchen

That quote definitely tells you a lot about the movie. A great and unique story with a great lead actor. What could possibly go wrong? If you see it, you have a chance to see yourself. It had some really impressive imagery, but I could not get over the fact that it was an incomplete story. A fun story, but disappointing execution.

-J

Z n/a
E n/a
J 6.75

~ZEJ 6.75

Aliens 3

“We're All Gonna' Die. The Only Question Is How You Check Out. Do You Want It On Your Feet, Or On Your F***in' Knees...Begging” - Dillon

A new movie, a new director. Alien 3 is directed by David Fincher, and I would guess that this should be my favorite. When looking through reviews, a lot of people say this is when the franchise falls off, and I have to push back on that. Is it worse than the first 2, definitely, but any series hits speed bumps. As Alien focuses on suspense and Aliens on action, what is left for Alien 3? It tried to do a mix of both, which does work, but where I think most would agree the fall is the gimmick they try to pull to make it unique. Right away, I will say it crossed my mind to turn it off and be done. I try my best to be mostly spoiler free, and if you read my last review and seen this film you should know exactly what I am talking about. Overall, I do think it adds to the series in some ways of creating depth, but it does have a decent amount of flaws. My score may be high, but I said what I said.

-J

MILD SPOILERS AHEAD.

Wow. I could not imagine fumbling such a successful start to a franchise harder than Alien 3 did, and literally right from the start, completely invalidating the second movie and Ripley’s character arc. Generally speaking, the end game of this movie with Ripley was a good idea, on paper, one that I think could have worked. But the execution is so poorly done that it’s a wonder David Fincher got more work after this. (Thank Hollywood he did.) There are so many issues with it that’s difficult to even put into words, but the final sequence of luring the xenemorph into its “trap” is one of the worst planned and shot things I’ve seen in any movie. Not sure we’ll continue on to Alien Resurrection after this, which has equally bad reviews, and Jordan gave a 5.5.

-Z

Z 6.25
E 6.5
J 8.0

ZEJ 6.92

Aliens

“Get Away From Her, You Bitch!” -Ripley

Sequels definitely can struggle, and usually do unless you are Star Wars or Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy, but the Alien franchise got it right. One of the coolest things that the Alien franchise does is that they use different directors. With James Cameron taking the helm, it trades Ridley Scott's chilling suspense into a bonafide action movie. It's a testament to the franchise's strength that it can excel in both styles. Obviously after the first, some new characters needed to be added, and I think we have the right mixture of personalities. From reading reviews, I may be on an island here, but I think Newt was the best addition to the cast. It creates a new obstacle for escape while also giving Ripley a much more emotional level. Thankfully, Aliens doesn't abandon the practical effects that made the original's Xenomorphs so iconic. We got to witness more of them, and it still almost wasn’t enough! This blend of practical effects and emerging CGI ensures the film holds up even decades later.

Aliens understands what made the first film work. This film still leans on Sigourney Weaver, the Aliens are still terrifying, and even if it leans more to action the suspense still gets to you. At first the action seemed like it may be too much, finding a great balance and creating a sequel that in my opinion exceeds its predecessor. For a franchise I was skeptical of, I am finding a new found love for it, even if I read that they start to decline now. Aliens stands as another masterpiece, a worthy successor that surpasses its predecessor!

-J

Re-watching this again, one thing became clear for E and I, and that is that the original is superior. An entirely different tone, Aliens lacks the tense, gripping horror and the laser-sharp logic that the characters shared in the original. It’s more akin to a war film than horror, but that said, it’s undeniably fun. You can see what James Cameron would later work out in his Avatar series, with his space marines and their energy, camaraderie, and heroism. You also see the beginning of his obsessions with mech suits, which doesn’t have the same punch in Aliens as in the Avatar movies, but you have to get him the benefit of the doubt due to the era. The lore that’s added to xenomorph species with the queen is brilliant, and the whole sequence of entering and escaping the nest was a masterclass. The addition of Newt to the mix was an interesting element to showcase another side of Ripley, but her character was written inconsistently, to the point that it brought me out of the film a bit. Again, I’m nitpicking, as it still is an amazing movie, and certainly propelled one of the greatest movie franchises in existence.

-Z

Z 9.0
E 8.75
J 9.5

ZEJ 9.08